First REAL update

Good news! I've been keeping up with my self-imposed challenge to the T this week. My flatmate got back on Sunday and it's been smooth sailing ever since: library every morning, searching for jobs, sending out apps, then beginning my "work day" and returning home to continue being productive. By productive, I mean staying off the computer after 8pm. Between 8 and 11, bedtime, I've been mostly reading. This was my goal for the evenings because I realized that I spend WAY too much time online. It's a true addiction and definitely part of the reason why I was feeling so lousy during the past few weeks. The majority of my days were spent on the computer... even on nice days. And the more time I spent online, the more I wanted to stay there. We all know how bad staying indoors is for my mental health and I've noticed this even more now that I've put the computer away in the evenings.

These were all things that I intended to start on a lot earlier, but seemed to be "stuck" for some reason. I attribute that to the painful routine, of empty mornings and evenings, with English-teaching in between, in combination with my flatmate's absence...aka prolonged isolation. Those two are a lethal combination for me. Now, usually I LOVE being alone, but with very few friends here anymore, loneliness has started to creep into my bones. It's something I'm not used to dealing with since I'm generally happy to have time alone. So I guess I just didn't know what to do with myself. Anyway, I seemed to snap out of it immediately after my flatmate's arrival. It's funny though because I hardly even see her except for a few minutes here and there in the mornings and before bed. Somehow that's enough to keep me sane.

As for A2's challenge for me, I've got to admit, I haven't been able to practice very much, given my current situation. Still, I've been pretty good about it thus far. Honest and straight forward with "Barbie". Also making sure to speak up if there's something on my mind. Did so yesterday when yet AGAIN he tried to persuade me to go home and come back so we could co-habitate. I stood my ground, thank you very much....albeit not as strongly as I wanted to. Eh, practice makes perfect. And I'll get a lot more practice with Barbie, who by the way, reminds me of of an ex (he was already planning the wedding, 1 month into the relationship :P hah!), the way he plans things. Good god! With my mom I guess it's a bit harder because I can't be FULLY honest with her, less it lead to one of our long, drawn-out arguments. I'm making an effort to phrase things in a positive way though.

This challenge is special in that it's more than just a Lenten challenge. I actually started it back in late 2009 (Dec., when I was sharing my apt with bums) thanks to my dear buddy, A2. Ever since then, I've been striving to speak my mind and be more honest and open about my feelings and opinions with others. I'm getting less practice now since there are less people I can really do this exercise with. However, this is something that I plan to continue doing well past the "challenge" period, probably for the rest of my life. We shouldn't be afraid to say "no", stand up for ourselves, or let someone know we disagree with them. For some, this comes naturally, but the tone and manner in which these things are expressed is what counts. It's what people remember. We want to do so in a way that does not lead to conflict and doesn't offend others...or at least does the least amount of damage.

Alright A2. Spill!